see foot of
page
Following the blinding success with our A.C.P.O page it has been suggested that our mystery detectives gather further evidence about another strange group of individuals known as.....
The COMMAND TEAM is a term meant to describe a gaggle of guvnors
who gather and meet to decide....stuff!
They can also reach other decisions such as below...
1) When to hold the next meeting
2) How to make necessary cuts to unnecessary evils..such as staffing levels, overtime, equipment, morale etc etc...
3) How to be perceived as human despite numerous inhuman mannerisms
4) How best to break the news about the dreaded 're-deployment'.....(re-deployment explained below)
Our Unofficial Essex Police sleuth team have managed to raid several Command Team (C.T) offices to find out the truth behind the re-deployment policy.........
Re-deployment - A term that will go down in the history of Essex Police as by far one of the greatest C.T policies to date.
In short, it means the taking of a perfectly content officer from his/her natural surroundings and forcing them against their own will to 'up and move' to the other side of their known work district.
The purpose of the strange ritual? - At present..unknown. Although below is the criteria used by C.T members.
Warning:- The following information may prove disturbing to those of a nervous disposition, and especially those affected by re-deployment
a) Is the officer concerned content with work at present ?
b) Has the officer shown dedication to their place of work, beyond what is required or expected ?
c) In the unlikely event of considering the officers own personal feelings, would they object to moving station ?
d) Does the officer have enough service to replace them with at least 3 probationary constables and a cleaner ?
It appears that if all points can be answered 'yes' then the officer will be re-deployed.
It appears that if all, or some, points are answered either yes, or no then the officer will be re-deployed.
Have you, or someone you love been re-deployed? We here at the U.E.P. site have arranged a specialist help-line with a trained representative to answer all of your concerns..
01268
- 412000
(line is 24hrs and local call charge apply - if you are not the bill payer please seek permission first..oh what the hell just dial the damn number)
Do you know a victim of re-deployment? Please mail us here and tell us the tale of woe and courage..
A prize shall be allocated to the saddest story AND the furthest re-deployment...
OUCHHHH! Have we hit a nerve with this or what!
several nominee's have been put forward...
has your redeployment caused you to leave the job?
Mail us now..and stand to receive a prestigious Unofficial SX Police on-line award/commendation.
OVERLOAD!!!!! WARNING!!!!!
Thanks for all your many many recent mails received.
We are in the process of creating a new page dedicated to re-deployment tails...including the new dreaded
internal re-deployment..
Have the bosses gone stark raving mad???!!???
Don't worry...they're coming to take them away haha, hehe, haha....etc etc